How you spend your time says a lot about you

When I spoke to my client earlier today, she said  "sorry I didn't find time yet to look into it". This statement reminded me of how many of us find ourselves in this position. Yet all of us on this world have been awarded the same amount of time which is 24 hours in day.

Then , where do the time go to then?

Time goes no where. Time is the only thing that remains constant, meaning if it's 10am CAT, it is 10am for everyone at that region. No one's time will go faster or slower than the other. Time moves in the same constant direction for all of us. 

Yet we find ourselves out of time, why?

Because many of us think that time is what is moving, leaving us, going somewhere it wants to.

But the reality is that "time goes where it is allocated to. If you want your time to go onto social media that's exactly where it will go on your side. You'll find yourself scrolling down from one post to the next. 

Next thing you know it's 1 hour gone and you didn't even think about it

I always say "you allocate time to what is important to you, why?

Because in reality, you will find and make time to what feeds your soul. If it's your favorite soapie, series, etc. You'll definitely find and make time to watch it

You know why?

Because what you have just allocated your time for is exactly what you need that which your soul yearns for at that particular moment. 

This means at that particular moment, when 30 minutes is gone while you sit and watch TV, that 30 minutes has been allocated by yourself to something that serves you.

It could have been 30 minutes to distress or distract yourself from doing something that scares the hell out of you, or something that needs to be done but is so boring for you. 

So that 30 minutes might seem like it's wasted because it has gone to something that you consciously didn't want to do. 

But be reminded, that it is not our conscious mind that runs the show in our lives but our unconscious mind. That is why you don't have to think about running bath water immediately when you get home from a long day at work. You don't even have to think if it's something you have time to do or not. You just do it, because you have conditioned your body to do exactly that when you feel a certain way.

Why do you then feel guilty for spending time on things you didn't plan to?

It is because at that moment you're being reminded  that there is more to what has just happened. 

The 30 minutes you have just spent watching TV or scrolling down on social media, was you running away from yourself. You needed to get away from paying attention to what is important but that which you are not yet ready to face. 

The guilt is also telling you about the conditioning that is currently active in you that is not serving you, signalling to you that there is an incorrect software running inside of you that you need to upgrade as a matter of urgency.

That is why if the 30 minutes was spent on something that you didn't plan but it filled your soul with excitement, the guilt is nowhere to be found. 

Before you accuse someone for not making time for you, be reminded that something more important than you came up. And if you feel angry just thinking of that, reach out to me for help , click here to know more about the work I do

Do this if you want to know where your time goes on a daily basis

For 7 days, monitor what you do from the moment you wake up to when you go to bed to sleep. Don't yet change anything about your schedule. But be aware of where your time goes. 

Before you sleep, record everything that happened in your day from the time you woke up. Put as much information as you can remember, not only the big stuff you did, account for ALL your time. What did you do after waking up, then what, then what.......

Be as detailed as possible, even if you spent 30 minutes on the phone with your friend who needed you, or you browsed on the internet. Anything just put it down for yourself.

Why you need to do this?

This will help you gain awareness about the things that are important to you. See how much time you're spending on what. This exercise is so powerful to help you discover the person you are and the things that your soul came here for. 

So next time you want to bit yourself up for wasting your time in your 24 hours, check what your soul is calling you to do?

You'll be surprised of how much power the things you spend time on are

Nothing ever happens by coincidence, your soul is forever communicating to you - pay attention 💚

That is why you'll never find or make time for anything else because you are already making time for what is important to you 💚💚💚

Thank you for stopping by. Please leave a comment if this helped shed some light for you and then share with all your loved ones

How trusting are you? Test yourself and partner

I'm yet to see a child who isn't born trusting. I mean as a child you trust everything you are told to do or not to do. You trust what you are being taught is good for you. And funny no one needs to teach you how to trust, it just happens.
And then life happens and things fall apart.
Let's start by defining this trust

What is trust?

According to the English dictionary, it is a firm belief in the reliability, truth or ability of someone or something

And a belief is acceptance that something exist or is true especially without tangible proof"

This means trust is not something you touch and can prove it's existence but it is something that you experience.

If trust is such an easy thing thing, then

Where did it all go wrong?

We were led to believe that trust is something that one must acquire. They need to have done something to be trust worthy or for us to trust them.

It is because of this notion that we find ourselves so frustrated in relationships because we want proof that this person can be trusted and/or is trustworthy.

Yet by nature we just trust. I mean everyone when they call it a night and go to sleep, they trust that they'll be here tomorrow. We make plans for the next day or even month or year. Yet we don't know for sure that we'll be here then to experience all of that.

What do trust issues come to tell you about trust in your life?

They are there to remind you or show you how much conditioned you've become. How you've allowed conditions to determine how to experience this life.

How disconnected you have become in relation to the true person that you are. 

You came here knowing, trusting and now in order for you to experience these through and with others , you first need proof?

Who are we called to start trusting?

We are called to remember to trust ourselves, our inner person and guidance. To trust that everything that you are experiencing in this lifetime as is, is for your good and well-being. 

How many times have your inner person communicated with you and yet you ignore them completely because you don't believe that inner voice is you, that inner voice is God in you giving you guidance?

How many times have you let opportunities pass you by just because you don't trust they come from God, you don't trust you are good enough for them, you don't trust they are meat to be. 

What will it take for you to reconnect with yourself and start trusting the person within you?

Fortunately, there's something you can do about this. You can first test and know your trust level then take necessary action to improve it

How to test your trust level?

Find a partner to do this exercise with: 

Ask the partner to stand behind you - arm distance away, feel that they are close enough by touching them, then turn your back away from them

Then throw yourself back to him/her (facing up)

This will help you see how much trust you have. 

If you have smaller kids (7 years and below), ask them to do this with you. Let you as an adult be the one to stand behind them. Tell them to do as mentioned above, see how easy it is for the kids to trust that you'll catch them 😊

You can do this exercise with anyone you want to test your trust levels with, friends, family, lover, siblings etc.

If you can't get yourself to do it, then it means you do not trust and fortunately there's something you ca do to start improving that

What is it that you need to do to regain trust?

• Believe everything is working for your good
• Start saying "yes" to your thoughts and desires. Actually there's a little exercise you can do to improve this, from today for the next 7 days, say "yes" to every question or request you get asked. It doesn't matter by who. Don't try to make sense of what the request is all about and what it means, just say "yes" and see how your life improves daily. Even that little voice that will whisper to you that "turn left here" , just say "yes" by turning left there and see what is the worst that could happen to you.

This exercise will help you greatly to start trusting more on your inner voice. It will help you build the "yes" muscle for your soul and there's no way that you won't experience magic in your life. It will help improve your relationship greatly.

JUST SAY " YES" and trust that life will take you where you are meant to go. Just like you trusted an adult who thrown you up in the air when you were a baby and you trusted that they'll will catch and not let you fall.

There's too many ways or things you can do to build your trust, but you've got to start somewhere and awareness about where you are is key

Proverbs 3: 5 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding - THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE CALLED TO BE 🙏

Much Love

Love inherited, what does it mean?

Do you know that most of your beliefs around love are inherited?

Think deeply about that 🤔

It is a well know fact that has been proven a couple of times already that a baby can hear and distinguish voices while they're still in the womb. Meaning that many of the things you know of now didn't happen only now, you've been part of them way before you came onto this earth.

You heard  and believed them way before you even braced this earth with your presence. You came here already knowing of your family challenges and strengths. And you agreed to take part in this journey of life with them 

What does this mean then in terms of my relationships?

It means some of the things you do as in  behaviors in your current relationship that you can’t explain why you' are even doing them,  you have inherited them 💥

Now,  before you start celebrating and saying things like “No wonder, well it's not my fault “  or "I knew it, I was born like this, people have just got to accept it". Understand this one thing, you came here knowing and  part of the reason you are here is to change the very same things, not doing them, that's why they are frustrating you so much. 

If you don't have this understanding you'll end up walking around creating the very same patterns in all your relationships forever.

How  do I know what I've inherited that I came here to change?

In order for you to establish what are some of these things that you've inherited but you are here to change, you need to be aware of the things that are frustrating you about others.

For example,

You hate it when people lie to you, but you yourself do tell white lies every now and then?

You get angry when people gossip about you, yet you are always gossiping about others on every chance you get?

You get hurt when others cheat on you, yet you cheat on yourself daily by not doing what you promised yourself you'll do for yourself? 

You went to the shops to buy yourself that beautiful dress and you came back with clothes for everyone in the house besides yourself and yet you cry for someone not paying attention to your needs?

What are the results of choosing not to do anything about this?

When you don't walk in your truth you end up thinking the world is against you. Because what you resist will persist until you do something about it. 

You end resenting the very same people that you claim to love;  that they don't love you back because they don't appreciate anything you do for them, yet you have forgotten about the most important person in your life at this moment - you!

What should you be doing?

Now that you are aware of all this, instead of being stuck in the victim mode and blaming your parents especially your mothers for all the mess you keep creating in your love life because of what you learnt through her before you even came here, do what you came here for which is to change things around

The decision always lies with you, you decide which side of the coin you want to be 

Whichever one you choose, the truth is that you came into this lifetime to heal and change whatever you inherited that wasn’t good for humanity.

Even the Bible confirms it  “ you were wonderfully and fearfully made” 

God knew before you were even formed that someone like you is needed here in this lifetime NOW 🙏🏼

Unfortunately when HE asked “who will go fix this in this family?” You gladly accepted the call and said “Thuma mina Baba, I’ll go” 🤣🤣

Now that you’re hear you “act” as if you’re being victimized whereas you agreed to it All 🤣🤣

Why does it hurt so much then? 

It hurts because unfortunately you didn’t get a road map or manual as to how you’re going to travel this journey. But everything was imprinted in your soul/spirit. 

Which is why whenever you do something that is against what your soul knows you’ll feel it by being hurt or through pain 🙏🏼. And whenever you do something good the very same soul in you will jump with joy

What does it all mean then?

It means that the people around you need not change, but you need to and get in alignment with what you came here for 

Otherwise you’ll end up believing that Love doesn’t exist and transfer the very same belief to generations that are going to come through you because as a woman you’re a co-creator and you create whatever it is you want to have 

You can’t carry on believing that love hurts, love is unreal, love doesn’t exist because YOU are love yourself, you were made in God’s image and God is love 💕

What do you mean 'you don’t exist', you’re here aren’t you?

It's time to practice what you know

If you’re Christian like me, you can not be speaking such a language because Philippians 4:13 says “I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me”, so?

Do your part

Instead of you complaining and praying about this and that not being right or being done right to you, get into your rightful position and DO what is right because “Faith without Action is Useless “ 

What you need to do is to remember what you came here for, to create it if it doesn’t exist 

You’ve done everything else you know by yourself and yet nothing changes, then it’s time to seek counsel and get help from someone outside of yourself, someone like me through the work I do. 

There’s always a way to do things better.

Not knowing doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, rejecting it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist

Reach out, otherwise your kids and generations to come through you will inherit whatever you thought and believed about LOVE just like you did.

Thank you for stepping by, please do share with your loved ones.

Much love

Power of relationships

Yes, there's so much power in relationships and yet they are the most neglected and misunderstood.

In the previous article I shared questions that people need to answer for themselves before they engage with others, if you haven't seen that article, click here to read it

In order for one to gain more understanding on what relationships are, let's start here:

What is a relationship?

It must be first noted that the word itself is made up of two words namely "relate" and "ship". Relate is how you engage or communicate with others and also share yourself with others. Ship is a mode of transport that takes you from point A to B. 

Put together it is relat-i/on-ship. 

Meaning that it a vehicle that helps you learn how to relate with others. In this vehicle you get to know yourself better while you learn about others as well. 

Put simply, a relationship is a place of meeting and growing yourself.

What makes them so complicated, then?

It is not understanding that any relationship you find yourself in is meant to bring you awareness about yourself. Both the person you think you are and the person you think you are not. 

And, because many of us think very highly of ourselves and don't want to accept the other part of ourselves - the bad side (shadow self),  a relationship becomes a very bad space to be in especially if it exposes this dark side of yourself to you.

We then hate the people who brings out the worst in us, thinking that they are the reason we're feeling somehow, whereas they are bringing to your attention the hidden, neglected or rejected aspects of yourself.

Instead of integrating this part of ourselves, we then blame the person who is amplifying to us. We believe they are the worst thing that has ever happened to ourselves, whereas they are a blessing in disguise

How can something that brings me pain be a blessing in disguise?

I say, this because, you becoming aware of this aspect of yourself is a blessing not only to yourself but all around you. Because the greatest tragedy in one's life is walking around thinking you are something else whereas the people around you experience you differently than you think of yourself. 

For example, you can only know there's a problem with your teeth especially if you don't normally take good care of them when you get a toothache. At that moment your body is signalling to you through pain that there's something that needs your attention 

The same applies with pain we experience in relationships, our spirit is communicating with or to us that there's something within ourselves that needs our urgent attention.

But because we get so consumed with blaming the next person, we miss the most important part of what we are meant to learn about ourselves at that given moment which is growth from A to B. Meaning you can't  remain the same person after each and every relationship you've been.

Can you then be in a wrong relationship or be with the wrong person?

The short and painful answer is NO. You are never in a wrong relationship. 

Every one you meet in your life, either through business, friends, family, colleagues, church members, stokvel member, including your possessions (money, cars, house, clothes, you name it) it is all happening the way it is supposed to, to help you get to know certain things about yourself, things that are both harmful or good for your well being.

You know what is funny is that it is very rare where we appreciate or congratulate people when they bring out the good in us, we normally take all the credit. 

For example,

if you are a parent and your children are well behaved, who takes the credit for that? In most cases than not, it's you. But the minute they misbehave it has got to be someone else, the father, the mother or friends, right?" 😀

So yes, you can never be in a wrong relationship no matter how bad you think it is. Whatever you find yourself in actually is good for you because at that given moment when you are in pain, that situation forces you to take a step back and reflect on things like what got you in that position in the first place, why does it hurt so much, etc.

I normally ask my client's to do the following whenever they are in pain:

Take a deep breath in and out for 5 minutes, then sit with a pen and paper and write out the answers to these questions:

What is hurting me about this situation that I'm in?

Why is it hurting?

What do I want to have happened instead?

Why do I think it should have happened that way?

What do I think is the reason it didn't happen like I thought it should?

Answers to such questions help you gain understanding of the real reasons behind the pain. 

If you can understand the power your relationships possess for you, you'll never find yourself in a situation where you need to be deleting people in your life. I know this is what you are encouraged to do, but this only give short term relief and one way or the other what you didn't process will definitely come back to get your attention.

Because you take yourself with everywhere.

Even the Bible says that "everything works for your good"

You know what's interesting especially for people who are Christians like myself, we are the ones who have forgotten that the very same Christ we follow knew very well the caliber of his disciples, who will deny him, who will sell him out, etc. and yet he kept them along his side, why? Because they had to learn something through  and from him. He had to lead by example showing us how to be the light in the dark instead of wanting to be a light in the light. Yet now when it is our turn to put into practice what we've learnt about him, we want people to change and be a certain way in order for us to be happy? 

It is how things were meant to be.

That's why we can never do anything by ourselves. We need each other, those bad friends to teach you how to discern next time, that bad relationship so that you know a good one when you have it. Those business partners who robbed you off your business because now you know how to screen or vet people. Now you are aware that you must put contracts in place so that you protect yourself. That mother or father who never approved of anything you do, because she/he taught you how to stand for yourself and believe in yourself.

What if you didn't or do see it this way?

Yes, it is very possible that you'll find yourself in the worst position where instead of seeing the good you end up losing yourself altogether, you end up hating  yourself because you ended up believing all those mean things you were told, then when you are in that position, then you've got to ask for help. Get yourself a coach to help you navigate yourself out of that situation because it is never easy to do all this by yourself.

I'm available to help you out of that situation, for more information about myself, read here

You know what I've noticed with most of my clients, is that just getting clarity about why you are going through all that is happening, changes everything. Book a discovery session by sending email or WhatsApp to: portia@theloveacademy.co.za. or 084 299 7299

Let's look into that situation of yours because I can guarantee you that things are not what they seem with the naked eye, and they are not as bad as they seem. But if there's physical abuse that is  a no no, got to the police immediately.

If you forget anything you've read here, remember this one thing:

The  most important relationship is the one with yourself because through it stems success of your business, friendships, money etc.

Pay attention to the most important asset in your life - You 🙏💙