Are your periods causing pains in your relationship/marriage?

Before we go any further I want you to know that experiencing period pains is NOT normal. I've seen so many people making period pains a norm as if it's something that should happen.

Believe you me when I tell you that it is not.

What are periods?

This is a monthly cycle where a woman sheds and releases blood off her body where fertilization of an egg didn't happen.

Now, there's too many beliefs around periods and how unclean/dirty they are. But the truth of the matter is that there's so much power on the periods. I mean this blood was a fertile ground ready to nurture an egg through the fertilization process, what then makes it bad once it flows out the system? That's a question to be answered on another day.

What causes them to be painful though?

Let me start by explaining what pain is. Pain is a signal by the body of where it got hurt. It's a symbol the body uses to make you aware that there's some part in you that needs your attention.

So if this happens during your periods this too is a signal that something is not right. 

What could be wrong that is being signaled by your periods?

You must be consciously aware that this pain only happens when there's blood coming off your system/body. This on its own tells you that whatever is wrong has to do with your bloodline or the blood that runs within you. Hence you get specific pains ONLY when you are in your periods. 

How do you then identify what could be wrong that needs your attention?

This you do by becoming observant about yourself and everything happening around you during your periods as all of that is giving you all the information as well as solutions for the pains/hurts that you are carrying within yourself that needs your attention. 

Your people are in pain and needing your assistance, hence they cause you to feel their pain through your own body because they live in your body too. 

How does is affect your relationship?

Obviously if one is in pain of some sort, their emotions, feelings and behavior changes. 

Now for may couples it has become a norm that during this time of the month a woman's mood swings will change and for those having pains it will be very bad mood swings. Which then leads to fights that stems from petty things/arguments. 

Then there are those women that have longer periods and at times for a full 2 weeks or even a month/months. 

During this time there's no intercourse nor cuddling or anything like that. 

Instead the couple is constantly fighting or the mood at home is not welcoming.

This then leads to cheating which also cause more harm than good. 

How can men support their partner suffering from period pains?

1. Encourage them to seek help 

2. Instead of judging the situation be compassionate. Seek to understand her more,  making things worse through your unavailability (especially emotionally)

3. Listen to what is not being said by her. During this time, listen more to what she's complaining about,  either about you or other people 

When you do these attentively, you're on your way to getting a viable solution. 

If you have tried these before and nothing has worked, then you've got to come to my office by booking yourself a consultation here. 

As mentioned on this article, there's more to period pains than meets the eye. So please don't just sit there and hope for the best, take action especially if you love the person you're with. 

You, the woman experiencing this be conscious of your own behavior around this time. Is it specific things or people that work on your nerves during this time or what? But more importantly reach out for help.

This situation is not normal so stop making it normal and seek help.

Leave a comment or question should you be led to. 

Much love

😘😘😘😘

Can your relationship with your parents really have an impact in your love life?

 The simple answer to this question is YES.

How?

For you to be born, these 2 souls had to meet whichever way that may be and both their cells (sperm and egg) were needed in order for you to be formed. 

So, in you runs both their genes and those of their lineages because within us we carry trillions and trillions of cells that carry certain information for us and about us.

What if I don't know my parents or one of them?

That is not really a problem because in you or within you they already exist. So as you get to know yourself, you get to know them too.

How do they impact my relationship/love life then?

Let's start with your mother first, you were nurtured in her womb as you developed from spirit into the physical being you are. Your mother is the soil that you were nurtured to this life through. 

Your father on the other side, is the actual seed which was planted into the womb/soil. 

So your relationship gets affected by both these things, what type of soil you were planted in and what type of seed that bears the fruit you are.

So your relationship with them is the first and typical way that you will express yourself in relationships. And this happens unconsciously. Remember 99% of the things we do, we do them without thinking about it. This is your default setting.

If your relationship with any of them is non existent or toxic or good or healthy, that will be your default expression too until you consciously decide to do what is beneficial for you.

Let me use an example to illustrate this:

If your mother was hurt/raped or going through some traumatic experience when she was pregnant with you, you are most likely to suffer a lot from unexplainable sadness, anger or resentment in your life. How you'll then show up in relationship, you'll be more like an angry partner who's always looking for a reason to fight the next person. 

If your father is/was a drunkard and irresponsible, you may find yourself indulging and spending more and more money on alcohol or any other irresponsible behavior.

What can I then do if I don't have a good relationship with either of them?

Like I always tell my clients, the first point of healing is AWARENESS. You need to be aware of the state of your being. The next step is to ACCEPT who and what you are. Instead of fighting it, you need to establish why you chose them as they are and accepted their genes. 

When you get to this point, this is when you start expressing in relationships the person you are not them as most people do. 

Most people spend most of their time trying not to be like their parents and end up being exactly or worse than them. 

Hence the solution for you NOW is to accept. And if accepting doesn't mean you sit with problems and think to yourself that you are doomed because your parents are this way or that way. 

Instead acceptance is accepting things you can not change, which is them but you can definitely change yourself.

And if you don't know how to do that, then please feel free to book a session with me here or  by email: portia@theloveacademy.co.za

Much love

You are a HUMAN BEING, do you really understand what this really mean?

 I often hear people say: "I'm like that and I will never change". And this makes me really wonder if this person truly understand what they are saying about themselves or if they even understand what being a human or being called a 'human being' really means. 

Well I thought I should share this over a blog. 

What does it mean?

It means that on a daily basis you're becoming. You're evolving, you're actually meeting a new part of yourself. 

When do people actually say such a statement - "I'm like this"?

It happens when one is refusing to acknowledge the present, the now. When they are in denial of a situation and wanting to hold on to something that is no longer serving that current situation they are in. 

What I find interesting is that such statements come when there's a conflict of some sort. And when people are suppose to address and deal with the issue at hand they then want to hold to what  was.

What is the reality for all of us?

Our reality is that we are changing and becoming on a daily basis. Actually every second. What I normally tell my clients is that everything you know about yourself NOW, is history. You're meeting a new aspect of yourself on a daily basis that you are not aware of.

Once we can all understand this, we will stop limiting ourselves by holding on to what we know about ourselves and then welcome the opportunity to receive the person we're becoming on a daily basis. 

 This understanding will help alleviate a lot of frustrations as well as limitations in one's life. 

Do you want proof to see how much you're changing on a daily basis?

Take a picture of yourself after reading this article , then set a remainder for a week or so then take another picture of yourself then.

If you also want to see how much change you're embodying on a daily basis, go and check your posts, ideologies of Jan 2021 and see how much you've grown or changed this far. 

And if accepting the changes you're seeing about someone close to your heart is giving you heartache, please do reach out here and book a coaching session so we can help deal with that. 

Much love