Why you keep ATTRACTING the same person in different people in your relationships?

 That's because you're NOT learning the lesson that they are bringing to your attention.

What do you mean?

Each relationship or person that comes into your life they come to show you certain aspects about yourself, good and bad. Many times we are mainly aware of the good things and don't want to hear or even acknowedge the bad.

Should we be doing that?

Short answer is YES. The challenge is that we were taught to only focus on the good about ourselves and nothing else. Actually weaknesses are deemed something we should be ashamed of. Hence many people are struggling in relationships

Have you heard of this "they bring out the worst in me?"

If you are anything like me and most of us humans, you definitely have and still say this about others 😂

And the next thing we do is BLOCK that person and move on to the next one. Only to find the same person in deeds dressed in a different body 😂

They bring out the worst in you because there's lesson(s) about this worst person that you are that you need to know and learn. 

This person is coming out of you because of whatever the other person had done or not done, said or not said, and they're coming from inside of yourself, right? So why is it a bad thing for you to meet this person?

You regard it a bad thing because of the conditioning. 

We were condition to believe what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, etc. Hence anything that doesn't look like what we were taught it bring us frustration.

What we miss in all of this is this here👇

There's a reason you are like that. There's a reason that person is buried somewhere inside of you. And them coming out, just like anything that comes out to your attention, it is because it needs your attention.

But you don't give that person the attention, instead you blame the next person for bringing them out instead of thanking them. Because if it were not for them, you wouldn't know about this person that is lying somewhere inside of you. 

Until you give this person/thing that keeps being repeated by all these people the attention it needs, they will keep showing up until the lesson is learnt. 

Just like in school, when you fail a subject, it is because there's something you missed about it the first time around and you need to redo it, same principle applies to life because the Laws of Nature work the same in everything

How to deal or acknowledge this person/thing about yourself without losing it?

Converse or dialogue with them. This is a very powerful technique as it helps gives you information you need to be aware of without judgement. You become more of an observer than a participant in this whole thing.

Let's illustrate using an example:

You are angry, the first thing to do is give this aspect of yourself a name that will remind you of the character you're working with, in this case ANGIE for example

"Angie, I hear you, now that you've got my attention, what do you want?"

Then start listening to the conversation that is happening in your head as you converse with this aspect of yourself. Ask questions where you need to and listen to the answers. 

DO NOT ASSUME things but LISTEN TO YOURSELF

As you do this, you will realize that at times even the things you're saying or that got you angry in the first place are not yours. It could be a voice of somebody else you know. In many cases it is those who groomed us especially in our childhood, teachers, parents, siblings, etc. 

Once there are no longer things you still need answer about, thank ANGIE for all the information shared 

This exercise/technique, will help you develop and practice compassion to yourself and others.

NOTE: Be aware that this shared here is one of the many reasons you are attracting these people. But this is where I always ask my client to start. And if you feel that you need support of a professional to help deal with this from the root cause instead of trying different methodologies, feel free to make contact with me via email on: emthonjenics@gmail.com or via Whatsapp here

One more last thing, you're attracting these people because YOU ARE CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH,  just different patterns 😂😂😂😂😂. More on that in the next blog

Much love

😘😘😘😘

Are you living your grandmother's love story? Spirituality of love relationships

Is it even possible?

Yes it is, very much so. 

How Is it even possible?

As depicted in the picture, you experienced your grandmother's love story because as she was pregnant with your mother, you were also part of the equation but as a seed in your mother's womb. So, whatever your grandmother went through it is ingrained in your DNA.

But my grandmother had a beautiful love story, why am I not winning then in love?

One thing we need to understand is that we keep memories in our body. Meaning many times we may not express in words or even actions what we're going through, but the body keeps the memory. The fact that you didn't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Remember our parents and especially our grandparents didn't show or even fight in front of us. Which is why to date many of us will say "my parents had a beautiful marriage and never fought, always happy". What you must understand is that not seeing it doesn't mean it wasn't there. Which is why many of people are struggling in relationships because they're looking for what they saw from their parents which is necessarily not the entire truth of the relationship. But definitely it was felt and kept by the body one way or the other. 

Still confused? Let me dive in a little deeper

Remember, most of our grandmothers didn't live their best life because of the laws that were in place at that time. Some were forced to even marry a person that they were not in love with. Others were unable to live their dreams as the laws of that time didn't permit women to do and obtain certain things. As a result what most of us saw, were the coping mechanisms that were adopted in order to be able to survive in that time. 

As a result, what was displayed at most times in front of us were not the entire truth of what was. So when you were in there, you felt all of it exactly as was not what was meant to be seen out there. 

So, what many of us then did when we came face to face with this reality, you made a vow not to allow this to happen to you. So the minute you enter mother earth, you came already carrying that vow in your soul. This is what we talk about when we say "heal your trauma" which is in this case the fragmented aspect of your soul.

What does fragment soul mean?

It means that your soul is not experiencing its life in its true divine form but through the eyes and pain of another. Which is why then you'll keep attracting people that are of similar nature in your love life and you end up thinking there's no hope, all because of the vow you made. 

Can vows be reversed or corrected, if yes, how?

Yes, they definitely can be corrected. The best place to start is to acknowledge the pattern you're seeing. Acknowledge it as is without judging it as wrong or right. 

For example, let's say your grandmother was a stay at home person, or had a spiritual gift that they refuted because of the laws as explained above. Your part is to acknowledge where she was. 

I always tell my clients to start asking the question "what happened to me?" when they want to start healing this aspect of themselves. What then happens is that certain memories start resurfacing, that you were not even conscious of. These memories will be of events that actually did happen that you didn't remember because you chose not to at that time. What happens is that the minute you start asking these type of questions, then you start remembering. 

What we need to understand about vows, is that when we make them we use the fight/flight mechanism which is what as species we activate in order to survive. In these cases these vows take on one of the two forms, i.e. repel or attract. Meaning you will either repel the minute you smell anything that reminds you of that feeling or you will stay with the person who gives you the similar feeling even if it hurts you. 

How does one breakthrough then?

1 - By having clear understanding and accepting that you are NOT your mother or grandmother. 

2 - Accept that it was their journey that they lived that way and you're not here to correct them or live it better for them. This is how you unconsciously repeat the story

3 - Invest in your own healing of the fragmented aspects of your soul so that you can live your truth.

Remember whatever it is that one experienced is not a mistake, it happened because it was meant to happen that particular way and for a reason. Your part is to know and live your truth and not see life through their eyes and by judging them for the choice of life they accepted for themselves. Whichever way that life was, it is what they chose for themselves. You also need to do same for yourself, otherwise, you will keep repeating their love story until it sinks in that you must live your own truth.

Feel free to engage by commenting on this post or reach out by email on: portia@theloveacademy.co.za

Much love

Know more about the Lionsgate portal, its importance and effects on you

 What is Lionsgate portal?

It is an event that happens in the cosmos (sky) every year  where the sun, earth, the star Sirius are in alignment. It is seen as the biggest day in the year where all the strong powerful energies are in sync.

It is said to be most powerful time to be intentional about your manifestations as this marks the beginning of a new year

\When does it happen?

The portal opens between the 26th of July and 12th of August but it is most powerful on the 8th of August.

Why the Lion is a representation of this portal?

A lion is one of the wild animals that values familyhood. Actually whenever lions travel within the forest they travel as a family. And everyone knows their roles very well within that herd. You will not find the lion curb doing what the mother lion should be doing. Or the mother doing what the father is supposed to do. And when the curb has grown old enough it is allowed to move around and starts its own family. 

Lions are strong, brave, and very courageous. Even if it is scared it will not show. It uses it's body structure and appearance well, meaning it uses these attributes to its advantage in order to win over other wild animals. 

It is because of this that this portal is labelled as Lionsgate, meaning that this is the time for one to stand out, be courageous and brave about the things that you want to manifest in your life. 

What impact does it have on us this portal?

In as much as it time for great manifestation. We must also be conscious and aware that this is the period where families will be tested. Where your wounds and traumas will show up. It is also the time where your emotions will be all over the place especially if there are issues that needs to come up and you need to still deal with.

This is why most of the time, there would be different family gatherings around this time. And anything that is done during this time that is meant to bring wealth, peace, love and joy within a family structure would be highly rewarded. Because as mentioned above, lions are about family hood, their highest value is family structure. 

Since we are only conscious of about 1% of the things that happens in our lives, we must be aware that during this time, it is when families will be greatly tested. Issues will rise up more especially around this day. It is imperative to pay attention to how you respond to all the events that will be heightened during this period.

It is also a time where things that boosts your ego will manifest. You just need to be careful that you do not let your egoistic self take over as you manifest. Because if you  do that, the very energy will be what will lead you more into depression when things do not happen the way you want them to. 

During this time, you will know exactly what your family is all about. Both your weaknesses and strength will be highlighted. It is during this time that you must be conscious of your weaknesses and understand them and then tap more into your family strengths. When you do this, you will have used this portal and important event in the cosmic to the best of its potential. 

If you find yourself to be struggling with family issues during this time, do not bury your head in the ground and avoid the things that are coming up, instead reach out for help here so you gain understanding as to why these things are happening and what lessons you are meant to take from them. 

It is no coincidence that this day falls a day before Women's day celebration. To understand more about what I mean by that, please do research about lifestyle of a lion. Alternatively you can book a session with me and I'll tell you all about it. 

Thank you for passing by. Have a great Women's day and month. 

Much love

Sexually transmitted trauma - what it is and how to heal it

Can trauma be sexually transmitted, for real?

 The simple answer is YES it is. Actually this is the most powerful and yet subtle way to transfer trauma amongst individuals. 

As we all know, sex is powerful and it is a creation energy. We were all created from it. 

For you to understand how powerful sex is, just take a look at the stats on the pictures as to how quick it was to build an app in just 19 days which other people did over years. 

Does this mean we shouldn't be having sex in fear of getting trauma from others through it?

No, that's not what we're promoting or saying in this article. All we are doing is helping people understand what it is that they're getting into as they engage in sex.

First thing that you must be aware of is that you don't know what is going on in the other person's life. As much as sex is fun and very exciting to have, we must also understand the power and impact it has on us.

When you are engaging in sex with the other person, you must be aware of the energy you are exchanging. For an example, you shouldn't be having sex if you are angry all in the name of keeping the peace or out of obligation (especially married women). Because at that stage the energy that is active in you, is not of having fun or pleasure, but of resentment and anger. You don't really want to do this but are doing it because you believe you have to and you also fear that if you don't then the man will leave you and find someone else. 

So, instead of you exchanging the fun/pleasure that you should be or are thinking you are exchanging, you are actually exchanging fear, etc. And if you are a man and you're thinking I'm doing this to prove that I'm a man and  that I've slept with her too or many girls ("ngimshayile naye" as they normally say), at that point you're not really exchanging the pleasure but unworthiness. Because the real reason or motive behind you having this sex in the first place is prove a point.

Just like those who wants to just release, at that point you must be aware that you're using sex as a escape. And whatever it is that you are escaping from will be multiplied just by you being inside of that woman. Because a womb is like an oven or a yeast, it increases or multiplies whatever it is that it is receiving. 

You'll then wonder why certain things keep happening in your life or you're busy going around in circles on one thing, it is the energy you keep exchanging unconsciously as you engage in sex. 

The mere act of sex says a lot about you, I wrote an article on this too, you can read it here

So the next time you are engaging in sex, ask yourself "what am I transmitting here?"

What then happens to all the traumas we received sexually?

We need to cleanse ourselves of them. It is said that sexually energy stays for 7 solid years within one's energetic field if not cleared intentionally. Things becomes even worse or takes longer if there's a child who was conceived.

For women, if you're still getting your periods, you can use that time to cleanse off all these energies. If you are not getting your monthly periods or are a man, you need to do a cleansing ritual as often as possible, at least once a year. 

If you want to get more information as to how to cleanse using your periods or what ritual to do, you can make contact with me here

In a nutshell as beautiful and powerful sex is, we need to use it to serve our highest good than just engaging on it unaware on what we are doing. 

Trust this article was of value to you, we would like to hear from you, please comment or email on portia@theloveacademy.co.za

Much love

The dynamics of a parent child relationship with love relationships

 As indicated in the previous article, our relationship with our parents plays a very big role in how we express or show up in our love relationship in our adult life. Read all about it here

Now there's this thing going around giving an impression that this parent child relationship causes more problems than anything else in a relationship. 

This article is meant to help you understand what are the dynamics of a parent child relationship within your love relationship or any relationship for that matter.

What is this parent child relationship, what does it mean exactly?

This is a concept that many of us recognizes especially when there's conflict or challenges within a relationship. Where you'll hear one using statements like "she/he doesn't want to grow up", "I feel like she's mothering me" or "He acts like my father".

Many times we use these statements when things are not going well and there's huge problems within a relationship.

But what I'd like us to know is that any form of a relationship is made up of a parent child dynamic. Meaning at any given time you're either playing a role of a child or a parent within a relationship. This is what relationships are for in the first place. 

In a partnership you are taking on either a child or parent role. And this we interplay throughout by even exchanging these roles depending on what situation we are in at a time.

So you tell me that in my relationship I either a parent/child?

The simple answer to that is YES. 

What we need to understand though is what type of a parent or child are you within your relationship or at any given moment or situation in your relationship.

Are you that nagging child who cries and throws tantrums at every chance they get or are you just a playful, happy and explorative child?

Seemingly, what type of a parent are you? Are you that domineering, strict and my way or the highway type of a parent?

Or

Are you the supportive, loving, kind, disciplinary type of a parent?

This is very important to know as it will give perspective on a type of relationship you're having if it's a loving and healthy one or is it the wounded one.

How do you tell/know which one are you?

If you find yourself in a space where you're fighting more and having more arguments than good loving fun times in your relationship, then you must know the both of you are showing up or expressing the wounded parent child relationship. Meaning you're currently expressing your pain or trauma you either endured as a child from your own parent or you're playing out what you observed between your own parent(s) which hurt you. 

How does one change this around, is it even possible?

Yes it is very possible to change your situation and the first thing to do is acknowledging your role and what you're expressing. This is called self-awareness. This is a key to a doorway to finding and receiving help when one acknowledges their part more than that of their partner. 

The biggest problem with many relationships is that people never recognizes themselves but more what their partner is or not. 

If you want to get the balance or correct the imbalance, you have got to recognize yourself first. It is more like putting your own mask first before giving it to another person or trying to save the other.  If you're prone to saving the other person first which is what most people do within their relationship, you're bound to have disaster or even die within that relationship. We had a great conversation with Aubrey the other day on radio on this subject, listen here for more information and perspective

If you find yourself drowning more and more in your relationship or find that you keep meeting the same person you thought you left home either at work or in business, please do book yourself a session with me here so we can help you with that situation.

At the end of it all, there's definitely nothing wrong with parent child relationship unless there's an imbalance and you're showing up more as your wounded self. That's when you need to seek help. 

Other than that, enjoy those dynamics because we do need those aspect of ourselves in order to build strong healthy sustainable homes and families.

We'd like to hear from you, comment below or send us an email on portia@theloveacademy.co.za or contact me via Whatsapp here

Take care

Much love

Did religion fail us when it comes to our ancestors?

A huge part of me says YES.

Coming from a Christian family background and still a Christian as I write this post, I have been made aware of so many things that are very good yet were miscommunicated deliberately or unknowingly about us and our ancestors.

What Christian religion teaches about ancestors?

I was taught that they don't exist and have no power whatsoever. And most importantly was that they're evil. And the minute you speak about them or connect with them anyhow you're inviting evil into your life.

Yet, the very same Bible we read and refer to makes reference to ancestors that believers and teachers speak against. All of those people who are mentioned there are no longer alive, yet when we speak of our own ancestors it was deemed evil or being lost. 

Now the question I kept having was, why those ancestors and not ours? Then I came to a conclusion that something is and was amiss here and I went on a quest to know more. 

Now, there's this Bible verse that I read - Deuteronomy 5:9. When I came to this verse I didn't even read further to understand more but got stuck here that we will be punished for our forefather's sins. I didn't understand how can God even do that. This knowing didn't sit well with me at all. 

Little did I know, why?

I got stuck on the sins part and didn't capture the blessings part. The teachings I got from church didn't help either because they made me disconnect further.

What did I learn in my quest to know more?

I learnt that they do exist, for real and not out there like we make it out to be but they exist in me. This was also confirmed when I had to complete a form while consulting a specialist and they asked about my family history. I had to answer questions like:

Did anyone in your family suffer from the following diseases......?

Did anyone die of a heart attack before the age of 50?

Was anyone in your family diagnosed with the following diseases?

My answers to these questions related both to people who were alive and those that had long passed on. 

I remember when my test for cholesterol came back, the nurse who assisted me explaining the results said; "if things like high blood, diabetes, cancer, etc. are in your family bloodline you are in a very high risk of getting same unless you take good care of yourself."

That time what I knew without a shadow of a doubt was that both my mother and grandmother died from heart related problems- heart attack to be exact. 

Now this made me more determined on my a quest to find out more.

This is when I was introduced to another side of life - African spirituality. 

When I got there I saw the very same thing I saw in religion 

And what is that?

Both were instilling fear around ancestors more than anything else. While religion said "you shouldn't " African healers said "if you don't.....". Both were doing the same thing in a different way. 

It is through deciding to embark on a personal relationship with my ancestors by asking them questions than hearing from others that I learnt something completely different. 

What did I learn?

I learnt that it is not only the sins that we inherit but also the blessings, the courage, the strength, the powers too. 

In actual effect, I realized that they had more powers to do the unthinkable than we're led to believe.  

They led me to their history, things that were done, pyramids that were built, technologies, sacred information that I didn't know about. This information was here all around me, yet I didn't have access to it, why?

Because when I thought of ancestors and were told of them, it was always about what they didn't do that needed fixed. It was all about the wrongs they did and never about the good they did and achieved. 

I realized I kept connecting to this aspect of them because that's what I knew about them. I only acknowledged and knew of their sins and weaknesses vs the success and powers. 

It is through me understanding this that I got my power back. I changed my life around in an instant. I connected with the part of them that was lying dormant in me because of what was perceived about them and what I was also taught all my life. 

And today I'm sharing this with you because I'm here ready to help you reconnect with this aspect of yourself. Because it exist in you, you will not be able to tap to those powers while you fear the most powerful aspect of yourself - your ancestors.

No need to runaway anymore, no need to be scared of yourself because you are them and they are you. You just need to connect with that aspect of you in a more positive and loving light. 

Should you need assistance with that, do not hesitate to contact me here

Going back to the question asked in the subject line, the answer maybe that "it didn't" but we're the ones that were not yet ready to know certain things, i.e. our truth and power? Now I understand even deeper this quote by Marianne Williamson that  'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure'

What's your take on that?

Please share in comments 

Much love

Are your periods causing pains in your relationship/marriage?

Before we go any further I want you to know that experiencing period pains is NOT normal. I've seen so many people making period pains a norm as if it's something that should happen.

Believe you me when I tell you that it is not.

What are periods?

This is a monthly cycle where a woman sheds and releases blood off her body where fertilization of an egg didn't happen.

Now, there's too many beliefs around periods and how unclean/dirty they are. But the truth of the matter is that there's so much power on the periods. I mean this blood was a fertile ground ready to nurture an egg through the fertilization process, what then makes it bad once it flows out the system? That's a question to be answered on another day.

What causes them to be painful though?

Let me start by explaining what pain is. Pain is a signal by the body of where it got hurt. It's a symbol the body uses to make you aware that there's some part in you that needs your attention.

So if this happens during your periods this too is a signal that something is not right. 

What could be wrong that is being signaled by your periods?

You must be consciously aware that this pain only happens when there's blood coming off your system/body. This on its own tells you that whatever is wrong has to do with your bloodline or the blood that runs within you. Hence you get specific pains ONLY when you are in your periods. 

How do you then identify what could be wrong that needs your attention?

This you do by becoming observant about yourself and everything happening around you during your periods as all of that is giving you all the information as well as solutions for the pains/hurts that you are carrying within yourself that needs your attention. 

Your people are in pain and needing your assistance, hence they cause you to feel their pain through your own body because they live in your body too. 

How does is affect your relationship?

Obviously if one is in pain of some sort, their emotions, feelings and behavior changes. 

Now for may couples it has become a norm that during this time of the month a woman's mood swings will change and for those having pains it will be very bad mood swings. Which then leads to fights that stems from petty things/arguments. 

Then there are those women that have longer periods and at times for a full 2 weeks or even a month/months. 

During this time there's no intercourse nor cuddling or anything like that. 

Instead the couple is constantly fighting or the mood at home is not welcoming.

This then leads to cheating which also cause more harm than good. 

How can men support their partner suffering from period pains?

1. Encourage them to seek help 

2. Instead of judging the situation be compassionate. Seek to understand her more,  making things worse through your unavailability (especially emotionally)

3. Listen to what is not being said by her. During this time, listen more to what she's complaining about,  either about you or other people 

When you do these attentively, you're on your way to getting a viable solution. 

If you have tried these before and nothing has worked, then you've got to come to my office by booking yourself a consultation here. 

As mentioned on this article, there's more to period pains than meets the eye. So please don't just sit there and hope for the best, take action especially if you love the person you're with. 

You, the woman experiencing this be conscious of your own behavior around this time. Is it specific things or people that work on your nerves during this time or what? But more importantly reach out for help.

This situation is not normal so stop making it normal and seek help.

Leave a comment or question should you be led to. 

Much love

😘😘😘😘