Can your relationship with your parents really have an impact in your love life?

 The simple answer to this question is YES.

How?

For you to be born, these 2 souls had to meet whichever way that may be and both their cells (sperm and egg) were needed in order for you to be formed. 

So, in you runs both their genes and those of their lineages because within us we carry trillions and trillions of cells that carry certain information for us and about us.

What if I don't know my parents or one of them?

That is not really a problem because in you or within you they already exist. So as you get to know yourself, you get to know them too.

How do they impact my relationship/love life then?

Let's start with your mother first, you were nurtured in her womb as you developed from spirit into the physical being you are. Your mother is the soil that you were nurtured to this life through. 

Your father on the other side, is the actual seed which was planted into the womb/soil. 

So your relationship gets affected by both these things, what type of soil you were planted in and what type of seed that bears the fruit you are.

So your relationship with them is the first and typical way that you will express yourself in relationships. And this happens unconsciously. Remember 99% of the things we do, we do them without thinking about it. This is your default setting.

If your relationship with any of them is non existent or toxic or good or healthy, that will be your default expression too until you consciously decide to do what is beneficial for you.

Let me use an example to illustrate this:

If your mother was hurt/raped or going through some traumatic experience when she was pregnant with you, you are most likely to suffer a lot from unexplainable sadness, anger or resentment in your life. How you'll then show up in relationship, you'll be more like an angry partner who's always looking for a reason to fight the next person. 

If your father is/was a drunkard and irresponsible, you may find yourself indulging and spending more and more money on alcohol or any other irresponsible behavior.

What can I then do if I don't have a good relationship with either of them?

Like I always tell my clients, the first point of healing is AWARENESS. You need to be aware of the state of your being. The next step is to ACCEPT who and what you are. Instead of fighting it, you need to establish why you chose them as they are and accepted their genes. 

When you get to this point, this is when you start expressing in relationships the person you are not them as most people do. 

Most people spend most of their time trying not to be like their parents and end up being exactly or worse than them. 

Hence the solution for you NOW is to accept. And if accepting doesn't mean you sit with problems and think to yourself that you are doomed because your parents are this way or that way. 

Instead acceptance is accepting things you can not change, which is them but you can definitely change yourself.

And if you don't know how to do that, then please feel free to book a session with me here or  by email: portia@theloveacademy.co.za

Much love