The 2 main reasons love hurt so much for many people

Love is a beautiful thing. I call it a thing because it's not easy to  describe it.

When you ask someone why they love this person, in most cases than not, the answer you'll get is

"I don't how to explain it, but I just do" 😊

Now, let me share with you what I got to understand love as

What is Love?

Love is God, love is energy and love is YOU 💥

I say this with conviction!

Let me explain further, firstly

God - we can't see nor touch
Energy - can't be seen nor touched
You - can't be seen nor touched

I know some of you will say but I can be seen or touched.

The truth is you cannot be seen nor touched.

Let me explain further.

The real You which is the spirit  and a "real person" can't be see nor touched. I'm referring to the person that if you were to drop down dead right now, people around you will be crying saying you are no more, whereas your body will still be here 💥💥💥

So, the real person that is YOU cannot be touched nor seen but we experience their existence through the body they dwell in.

Secondly, the Bible says it very nicely that God is Love (1 John 4 verse 8) and we are all made in the image of God (Gen 1 verse 26) and it further says that after God created a human being, there was no life in that body until he breathed the breath of Life and the body became a living being (Gen 2 verse 7)

A question one may be asking themselves now  is "if I am Love, why does love hurt so much?"

It's because of these 2 reasons which we were taught that:

1. Love is something outside of ourselves

Something that we get from others. Which is why to date, a lot of us are struggling with the concept of self-love. We don't know that we are love and we are to love ourselves even more which is through recognizing all that we are (the good, the bad and the ugly)

We were not taught to see love for what it is, to see it as part of us, to see it as something that is us but to see it as something you can get out there.

Just like God,  many of us still see him as something outside of ourselves, whereas as eluded above, his breath is in us and therefore he is in us - in an energetic form.

2 Love is something we look for

By nature we look for things that don't appear right in front of us, things that we think and believe it's not here, something we lack.

I mean you'll only go looking for a shoe if you don't see where it is, right? Because if you knew where the shoes was or you can see it, you won't go looking for it, right?

That is why to date those that are looking for love are still looking 😔

I want to share something as we are on this topic of lack.

Because our brains are trained naturally to look for something that we feel lack, when we say we are looking for love, we are telling our brain to go searching for it somewhere and in most cases it is out there.

So in actual effect this concept of looking for love is teaching and engraving deep down into our unconscious mind more feelings of lack.

The reason we go looking for love is because we feel that where we are it is not there.

What am I saying to you with all this?

I'm saying that love is not something you look for, it's not something you find but it's something you share with others because you are already love - yourself.

If you can understand this, then you won't go blaming people for things they are not doing for you or  things they are not doing like you because you know for a fact that they are not YOU.

If this seems very difficult to phantom, do this:

Take a look at the current frustration you are having about the person you are with or those you've been with, what was your frustration about them?
If it's their actions or behavior that is/was troubling you, how do you want or would have wanted them to behave?
Why do you want them to behave like that? Who behaves like that currently in your life, is it not you?

In 9/10 cases when I sit with someone during a coaching session, I'll hear things like "if it was me, I wasn't going to do or say that", "they should have said it this way instead of that way"

We forget that the other person is not you

Today going forward, be reminded that your task is not to look for love, but to share the love you already are with us. Your task is to remember whom you've always been and break down all the things you've been taught that have not and are not serving you to date.

So why is love hurting so much for you?

It's because you are looking for yourself in others. You are looking for yourself out there.

Love is you, everything about you, your thoughts, your desires, how you express yourself in the world, your voice, your fears, everything - alles 😍😍

Stop looking and recognize that you are already here. You already have the love you want. All you have to do is recognize yourself and allow yourself and others to be.

I'm here to help you live your best life the way you know how, not what you were told

To know about me, read here

For more information on my relationship coaching programmes email: portia@theloveacademy.co.za.


Much love